Inadvertent But Loving Frog Mama

[Tonette]

Hello Everyone!

I'm new here. I'm seeking advice, as are most of you.

Twenty years ago I ordered a Grow-A-Frog tadpole for my 8 year old son. Long story short, we ended up with two. Son grew up and moved away, but the two frogs remained with their grandparents, who dutifully fed them, petted them and changed their water. (Note: All those years ago there was next-to-no info on the internet, so their habitat is simple, yet clean).

Fast forward to a few months ago my husband and I relocated for the winter, and, after years of the frogs being in spring water, I made the fatal mistake of putting tap water in the aquarium (I did so under the mistaken assumption that the location's reverse-osmosis treated water would be safe). Well, one of the frogs, Maple, died that day, and I am overcome with guilt and grief because her partner, Fatty, who had spent 20 years with Maple, was clearly grief-stricken, and now she is alone....

It tears me up because, after maybe two egg releases in 20 years, Fatty has taken to releasing eggs every couple of weeks; no doubt in an effort to produce some company!!

The thing is, at my advanced age, I really don't want to get a young frog!! I've been caring for this girl for 20 years, and I love her, but I really do not want to extend my frog-keeping days anymore than whatever life Fatty has left in her....

So, I'm looking for advice as to how to get Fatty some company without getting a young frog... maybe someone has a 20 year old frog that they no longer want? I don't know. I just get so sad whenever I look at her, knowing that I basically but unknowingly killed her life-long friend...

Also, I've never used a filter because I don't know how.. I looked at one in the store once and it had all these warnings about electric fires, so I didn't buy it. Fatty is in a tank that I clean out and refresh with spring water every 5 days. Any advice here is welcome too. Thanks, everyone.

[elly]

I'm sorry for your loss, it's always sad when you make a mistake like that.

I don't entirely know how a frog's mind works, but is there a chance your frog might not be as sad as you think? They aren't very social creatures in the wild. I'd have to do more research but I don't think their brains are as developed for bonding as mammals and other creatures. I hate to say anything about how an animal's mind operates with certainty though.
On the other hand, I have heard of a male frog that was restless and kept trying to get into a female's enclosure only to calm down when he was finally put inside.

If you do end up getting that 20 year old frog, I hope you'd let it spend some time in a separate tank first, in order to see if there are any symptoms of illness which could spread. Best of luck.

Also it would probably be best to look for a frog of the same species, because sometimes when different species come into physical contact for long periods of time the frog that has the more toxic skin can sicken the frog of the less toxic species.

[Tonette]

Dear Elly,
Thank you for your compassionate reply and good advice. I did think that if i did get another frog I'd have to keep them separate at first and be careful, but more because I thought one might eat the other! I didn't think about disease so thank you.

I failed to mention that Fatty is an African clawed frog. That's what they sell as Grow-A-Frogs and they should NOT be allowed to sell them because they are an invasive species. In many states it is illegal to release them because they can decimate other populations in rivers and streams. Not to mention that they live forever, and most parents who buy their kid a tadpole have no idea that they will be caring for these tiny creatures into retirement, like me!

As for Fatty's sadness; well, my husband and I noticed right away that Fatty seemed to be in a state of shock; she turned away from us, instead of toward us. Those two used to sleep one on top of the other! Although Maple was sometimes mean to Fatty and bit at her... But the other sign was how she all of a sudden started releasing hundreds of tiny eggs almost every other week, when that had only happened twice in the last 20 years! So, who is to say, but I just can't help but think that she misses her friend.