things you do not say to humans

[alane]

My female is fat as heck.

It's that time of the year again it looks like. One of my five adults has swelled up like a balloon. They are now in amplexus and she's so fat, it looks like he will soon be successful simply squeezing eggs out of her.

last year i had many many sets of eggs. the first few were fertile and i have 20 super cute subadult survivors. the last few were not fertile.

this year i need to find a fish that eats frog eggs.