Oh my gosh, I found the egg crate.

Somehow--somehow--I managed to search our Lowes for two hours and missed them. Goodness. Seriously, if anyone is reading this in the future, or lurking, or whatever--the egg crate stuff is never in the lighting section, which makes no sense. You'll absolutely find it in the wood section, by the doors and windows and planks. What the heck. Also, handily, Lowes has a map of each store they have online, and it'll show you right where the thing you want is.

It literally took me five minutes to get into the store, find the egg crate, and leave. What?

So now, finally, I can start building my vivarium. Bwah.