Well, it might not be a real fix but I let him sit underground for a week and just today I carefully uncovered his face and used a mister to rain a gallon of water on the tank.

The rainy season has arrived, Guillermo del Froggo.

The good news is he started wiggling. And opening his mouth. And he started to eat his shed! He started to actively be a frog!

We just did this so he's still wiggling and shedding and such, but I'm feeling absurdly confident that he's going to be more active and actually eat on his own. Fingers crossed!

I'll update when I wake up if he's moved anywhere.