Assuming your toads are at least a year old or so, determining gender is pretty easy. Simply pick your toad up with two fingers under his or her armpits. Apply some light pressure. If your toad is a male, he'll think you're another toad trying to mate with him and chirp/vibrate. Females make no noise at all, so if it's a female she'll just look very annoyed and try to get away. As for the species, that's not quite so easy and would require a picture.

Your other situation is a much more unique one, I doubt many people would have any sort of experience with that. Your best bet is to take your toad to an exotic animal vet of his/her tongue doesn't start to heal within the next few weeks. Best of luck!