Is this a school paper and are we supposed to correct it for you?
Sorry, in all seriousness...my first question to you is why a "review" and not an original study on the subject. Reminds me of my Uncle who is a Pysics professor at a college and his "work" was always a "review" or comparing and contrasting other peoples studys or experiments. Keep it original...it makes for much more interesting reading. Besides, someone with your "Star Trek" and "Star Wars" background has got to be able to find ways to spruce it up a bit. You lost me serveral times while reading your article. Although some science nerd my find it facinating you're missing out on the other 99% of the population. IMO