A Little Understanding Would Be Good...

[LizardMama]

In a way this is a thread on Gray Tree Frogs and in a way it isn't. My father is adamant that I get rid of my 2 Gray Tree Frogs which I have had since February 2012. He's made all these claims that I've "destroyed their lifespans and that they are dirty" etc. Can I get someone to help me in having him understand me? I have just 2 Gray Tree Frogs, have gotten rid of 3 of my 5 American Green Tree frogs (leaving me with just 2 now) and he's really wanting me to get rid of the Cubans that were sent to me (because he sees them as 'dangerous').

My father and I do not live in the same house, he's not as big of an animal lover as I am and he doesn't really understand the idea of keeping frogs as pets. I've tried to explain it to him why people keep exotics such as frogs and he just brushes it off. Can someone help me?

[Lija]

sounds a lot like mine, controlling father, even if we don't live under same roof or even same continent really :lol: his true is always truest, but I don't care, it my life.
in you case actually I doubt the whole thing is about frogs, he will never understand, no matter how hard you try, thus why bother? it is your life, your home, your frogs , you can do( or keep) whatever you feel like, he will need to accept it or not, but it is not your problem.

[ejh805]

Lija is right.

My fiancees father is the same way.
Even though we don't live with him or near him.
Some people just have a need to control others. Your dad sounds like one of those people.

Live your life and do what makes YOU happy.

[deranged chipmunk]

^^^^ here here!! while admittedly, i can not relate to having a controlling parent, i do get the "why" question all the time. "why frogs?" "why shrimp?". i just tell people, it's what "I" enjoy, and that is all that matters. people to need accept you for who you are, the complete package, frogs and all. if they can't, well then, that is their issue that they need to work out. to paraphrase and old Billy Joel song, "don't go changin', to try and please" ANYONE!!!

[Pluke]

Why is it of any concern to him what animals you keep if he doesn't even live there..? That really irks me and it's not even my problem. Just tell him you enjoy having them and in actuality there is a good chance your prolonging their lifespan, because of the lack of threats from predators and disease. He obviously has no idea what he's talking about.

The Cubans are dangerous? Only way they could be dangerous is if you let them go, you know, since they're an invasive species. From the sounds of it, that's what he's suggesting you do. Let them go... yeah, that makes sense. I'd just tell him to mind his own business. You're not under his roof anymore, sounds like he needs to come to terms with that. You have these animals because you like them and they make you happy, whats the problem with that? As long as you take good care of them, there should be no issue. I could see him being bothered if you were a terrible keeper, but I don't think that's the case.

[Lija]

Live your life and do what makes YOU happy.

exactly!!!!

as for why frogs or any herps/pets for that matter. some people getting antiques, some stamps, some something different, we like to have a piece of nature in our house and that makes us happy.

[Shade38]

Why are they "dangerous?" I don't get the reasoning.

[ejh805]

Why are they "dangerous?" I don't get the reasoning.

I don't understand the reasoning either. If anything, they're probably more therapeutic than dangerous.
Probably ignorance of the animals on the fathers part :/

[Pluke]

The only thing dangerous about them is that they're considered an invasive species and apparently their skin secrets a toxic mucus but it's really only harmful if you get it in your eyes. I'm getting this info from their wiki page.

[LizardMama]

My father has been this way since I was 16. I wanted to get some Bearded Dragons, he said no. I pressed him hard and he replied he didn't want any of those types of animals in his house because they resembled 'snakes'. 6 months later I got 2 Bearded Dragons, 3 years later I got 2 Leopard Geckos and it stayed at 2 Bearded Dragons and 2 Leopard Geckos for a while then my father brought home 2 Sandfish Skinks saying he figured that I'd like them (surprise surprise, he started yelling and screaming about them 2 weeks later). Then I moved and got the frogs. He broke into my home 4 months after I moved and killed 4 of my frogs and destroyed 3 tanks, he spent some time in jail then I got a restraining order that expired, I need to get that reinstated again. I've been keeping low on my activities in my house for near a year with my family, I accidentally popped out that I had been shipped some Cubans from Tommy to my aunt and she squealed to my father and of course this is where this thread comes into focus. I take care of my pets, he says that I have 'destroyed my frogs way of life and their life cycles' and that I've 'made a fool of myself' for going out and purchasing 2 Red Eyed Crocodile Skinks that are not only rare animals but not much is known about them. My Sandfish Skinks when I got them were also rare, not much is still known about them. Out of 8 Sandfish I've lost 2, an older looking Skink and a younger Skink for unknown reasons. The others are fine, thriving.

[Pluke]

He broke into your house and killed four frogs and destroyed 3 tanks...? Then he has the nerve to say the cubans are dangerous? Lol.

I'm sorry that you have to deal with something like. Your dad needs meds or something, seriously. I imagine this is really stressful on you and it's a shame that you have to put up with something like that. You'd think the fact that he went to jail and you've had a restraining order would send him a hint.. what a strange situation. I don't think you owe him an explanation about the frogs at all, I think he owes you an apology, heh.

[GrifTheGreat]

I am so sorry to hear this. It sounds like a dangerous situation. It is hard to say without knowing the details but you should definitely get that restraining order reinstated. For your own safety as well as your froggy friends. As for understanding, some people will never understand the desire to keep these animals. Stay true to yourself.

[Rae]

Wow... I don't think my parents in law get the frog thing either ... and I know my mother doesn't... but at least they aren't crazy. Greys can live up to I think 8 or 9 years in captivity. In the wild... they have to be strong and healthy enough to endure hibernation every winter... they need to not get eaten by other predators including larger of there own species... How is this hindering there life if you are caring properly for them. Tell him he needs to do research before freaking out. And releasing captive frogs into the wild is dangerous.

I have 4 greys.... 1 Crested Gecko... and I hope to have a bearded dragon in the future... If you are giving them the proper habitat and care they need... then you are doing nothing to harm them.

[Murray of the Deep]

Sorry for you loss , same thing as my mother even though im still 14 i kept my asian greenback tree frogs hidden from them cause i know they're going to kill it just like what happened they almost killed my frog and also i raised them as tadpole and i saved my frogs from them just hide it next time ok?

[LizardMama]

He broke into your house and killed four frogs and destroyed 3 tanks...? Then he has the nerve to say the cubans are dangerous? Lol.

I'm sorry that you have to deal with something like. Your dad needs meds or something, seriously. I imagine this is really stressful on you and it's a shame that you have to put up with something like that. You'd think the fact that he went to jail and you've had a restraining order would send him a hint.. what a strange situation. I don't think you owe him an explanation about the frogs at all, I think he owes you an apology, heh.

Yes! I came home from work to find my front door open, my dog missing and my father in my bedroom with 1 frog in each of his hands, he was squeezing the life out of them! When he saw me he threw the two he had in his hands and grabbed another and threw it as hard as he could against the wall. Before I could stop him he grabbed another and stomped on it. We got into a physical fight, I beat the **** out of him on behalf of my lost froggies, then he was arrested. My neighbor Brian came over and told me he had my dog, that he had seen my father enter my house then he saw him exit with my dog, he had a hold of my dog on her neck and her rump and just threw her over my porch. Besides destruction of property I also had him on animal abuse and break in since he did not have my permission to enter my home, how he had or gotten the key is beyond me. A year earlier I had had a Pacman frog named Octavian, my frog died 2 months after I had him and why? Because my father made it cold in the cage. I came back from work to finding the tank under 60 degrees. My poor Pacman frog died of cold . The one I have now seems to be doing well, he's slipping his food but I think that's because he's tired of the worms I am giving him. I'm going to get crickets soon for him (or her).

[Murray of the Deep]

Yes! I came home from work to find my front door open, my dog missing and my father in my bedroom with 1 frog in each of his hands, he was squeezing the life out of them! When he saw me he threw the two he had in his hands and grabbed another and threw it as hard as he could against the wall. Before I could stop him he grabbed another and stomped on it. We got into a physical fight, I beat the **** out of him on behalf of my lost froggies, then he was arrested. My neighbor Brian came over and told me he had my dog, that he had seen my father enter my house then he saw him exit with my dog, he had a hold of my dog on her neck and her rump and just threw her over my porch. Besides destruction of property I also had him on animal abuse and break in since he did not have my permission to enter my home, how he had or gotten the key is beyond me. A year earlier I had had a Pacman frog named Octavian, my frog died 2 months after I had him and why? Because my father made it cold in the cage. I came back from work to finding the tank under 60 degrees. My poor Pacman frog died of cold . The one I have now seems to be doing well, he's slipping his food but I think that's because he's tired of the worms I am giving him. I'm going to get crickets soon for him (or her).

im sorry to hear that , those are the reasons why i kept my greenbacks hidden last time but now my mother allowed me since she bought an axie for me and now my parent understands that i really love my pet amphibians

[Lija]

Yes! I came home from work to find my front door open, my dog missing and my father in my bedroom with 1 frog in each of his hands, he was squeezing the life out of them! When he saw me he threw the two he had in his hands and grabbed another and threw it as hard as he could against the wall. Before I could stop him he grabbed another and stomped on it. We got into a physical fight, I beat the **** out of him on behalf of my lost froggies, then he was arrested. My neighbor Brian came over and told me he had my dog, that he had seen my father enter my house then he saw him exit with my dog, he had a hold of my dog on her neck and her rump and just threw her over my porch. Besides destruction of property I also had him on animal abuse and break in since he did not have my permission to enter my home, how he had or gotten the key is beyond me. A year earlier I had had a Pacman frog named Octavian, my frog died 2 months after I had him and why? Because my father made it cold in the cage. I came back from work to finding the tank under 60 degrees. My poor Pacman frog died of cold . The one I have now seems to be doing well, he's slipping his food but I think that's because he's tired of the worms I am giving him. I'm going to get crickets soon for him (or her).

OMG, I'm so sorry you had to go through that, your father is a sick man. You should be so proud of yourself for being able to be strong and be able to do what you did! you are role model for so many people silently suffering abuse just because "you have to respect your elders", but you know what it is a very thin line from behavior like that towards pets to similar towards humans. I would reinstall restraining order if I were you, it is safety measure for you, your pets or anyone in your life.